Classes start in two days and I am dreading the thought of walking in those huge crowds of people with this new weight gain. I still don't know if I'm going to drop my classes and go home or if I'm going to try and fight through. For the past few weeks I've just been wearing yoga pants and big t-shirts to try and cover up my pregnant looking stomach and my thicker thighs. I just know I'm going to feel like shit that first day when everyone is dressed really cute to set good impressions while I'll be wearing something that best hides my figure. It's also been hard to get myself motivated to do things when I wake up in the morning. The first thing that usually crosses my mind is how I hate the way I look and feel...makes it hard for me to put myself out in the world for other people to see.
I'm worried though that if I go home that it's a sign of weakness. I've been dealing with these problems for years and I know that when things get tough I can't just run home to mom and dad. But I need someone to give me the tools to be able to deal with stress, anxiety and depression in a healthy manner so that when future problems arise, I will be able to handle them.
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